


so follow me down

by despertarse



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-02
Packaged: 2017-11-22 21:14:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/614400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/despertarse/pseuds/despertarse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>liam is tired.</p><p>not sleepy, but the kind of tired you can feel in your bones. when your body and mind and spirit feel so unbearably heavy you just want to stop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	so follow me down

**Author's Note:**

> title from james vincent mcmorrow's "follow you down to the red oak tree."

liam is tired. 

not sleepy, but the kind of tired you can feel in your bones. when your body and mind and _spirit_ feel so unbearably heavy you just want to stop. but he can't stop, because he is liam. One fifth of the biggest boyband in the world, daddy direction, the leader of their little secret circle.

so he continues on, forces a smile, tries not to let it crack under the lights, under the pressure. they put in so much work. shows and shows, appearances all over the world and what if. what if it's all for nothing and they _fail_. he feels responsible for all of them and would never be able to live with himself if he has to see harry or niall or louis or zayn cry again like he did the day they thought they had all been eliminated from the x factor. 

some days are harder than others, when he cannot remember which city they're in today after travelling through the night on the bus and he can barely keep his eyes open. he follows paul, pretends to know, and the others go along. this is his life now, never a moment to himself but feeling more alone than ever before.

he doesn't expect the others to notice, to care, but he underestimates zayn. 

everyone always underestimates zayn. He's the observant one, the pensive one, but no one ever remembers that. 

zayn notices. 

zayn sees the dark circles under liam's eyes. They all have them, this far into the tour, but liam's look like they're tattooed onto his skin like the arrows on his arm. **permanent**. deep purple bruises from lack of sleep caused by a lack of sleep, darker against his porcelain skin than they'd normally be, now that the pallor of exhaustion has set in.

zayn sees the way liam looks at people now. his smiles at the boys never quite reach his eyes. the corners of his mouth quirk up, but instead of lighting his eyes stay dull and dark. like he can't bring himself to truly smile.

zayn see the food still left on liam's plate after a meal, right before niall says, "you going to finish that mate?" and liam shakes his head and hands it over, because no, he isn't.

zayn sees liam slip into the corridor at the hotel after they've mucked about in harry's room for a bit, liam only watching as the others play fifa and never joining in. 

he feels his heart break. 

because no one should _feel_ like this, especially liam, sweet liam with his puppy like tendencies and giant heart. tour can break you down and tear your soul to pieces if you're not careful, if you don't steel yourself. 

tonight, zayn follows him as he bids the others goodnight to retire to his own room across the hall.

"what are you doing?" liam asks tiredly as zayn slips in behind him when he opens the door to his room. 

zayn shuts the door and locks the deadbolt without answering, then turns and gently pushes liam towards the bed. 

"what are you doing," liam repeats, knees hitting the edge of the mattress and falling onto it, hands splayed behind him to keep himself from falling backwards. 

"go to bed liam." 

liam stares as zayn toes off his shoes and strips down to his pants and he doesn't know what else to do, so he does the same before pulling back the bedclothes and slipping under the blankets. 

the other boy lays down beside him and reaches out, pulling him in to his chest. 

liam exhales sharply at the feel of skin on skin, his warmth spreading across his back. they're all touchy feely, always on top of one another, touching each other's hair, grabbing someone else's bum. but it's been a while since he let one of the others simply hold him. he sinks in, breathing in the smell of smoke and boy and _zayn_. he chokes on the air in his lungs as it comes bubbling back up in a sob.

zayn brushes his lips against liam's shoulder, murmuring soothing sounds into his skin. 

liam turns so he can tuck his head underneath the older boy's chin, whose arms tighten around him as he shakes with silent sobs.

"i'm right here. and i'll always be right here." 

for the first time in a long time, liam sleeps soundly.


End file.
